Supporting Someone with Hoarding Disorder Over the Festive Period

The festive season is often portrayed as a time of warmth, connection and celebration. Yet for many people, it can also be deeply emotional, overwhelming and triggering. For individuals living with hoarding disorder, the festive period can be particularly challenging. As well as for those who care about them, it can feel difficult to know how best to offer support.

Understanding, compassion and patience are essential. Hoarding disorder is a recognised mental health condition, not a lifestyle choice, and it often has deep emotional roots.

Why the Festive Season Can Be So Difficult

Hoarding disorder is frequently linked to experiences of loss, grief, trauma, loneliness, and anxiety. Objects can become emotionally significant, representing safety, identity, memories or control. During the festive period, these emotions can intensify.

Common seasonal triggers include:

• Heightened emotions around loss and remembrance

• Social pressure to invite people into the home

• Expectations around hosting, decorating and gift-giving

• Comparisons created by social media and advertising

• Family gatherings that bring long-standing dynamics to the surface

  
  

For someone with hoarding disorder, these pressures can create feelings of shame, fear, panic and isolation, often leading to withdrawal rather than connection.

When “Well-Meaning” Pressure Causes Harm

It can be tempting, especially at this time of year, to focus on space, tidiness or “starting fresh.” Comments about clearing rooms, making space for visitors, or using the New Year as a chance for a reset, however kindly intended, can feel overwhelming and unsafe.

Change around hoarding behaviours must be carefully managed, with trust, time and professional guidance. Sudden pressure or forced change can increase distress and damage relationships.

Instead of focusing on the environment, try to focus on the person and their emotional wellbeing.

Even small acts of understanding can help reduce feelings of shame and isolation associated with Hoarding.

Compassion Over Correction

Supporting someone with hoarding disorder starts with curiosity rather than judgement. You don’t need to fix the situation. In fact trying to do so can often push someone further away.

Helpful approaches include:

• Listening without problem-solving

• Acknowledging how hard this time of year can be

• Reassuring them that connection matters more than appearances

• Letting them set boundaries around visits and conversations

  
  

Even small acts of understanding can help reduce feelings of shame and isolation.

Thoughtful Gifting Without Pressure

Gift-giving can be a sensitive area. Physical items, however well-chosen, may unintentionally add stress.

Gentler alternatives include:

• Consumable gifts such as food, toiletries or treats

• Experience-based gifts, like a coffee date, walk together, cinema trip or voucher for a

  shared activity

• Cards or letters that focus on connection rather than expectation

• Time, presence and reassurance are often the most meaningful gift of all

Navigating the New Year Without Forcing Change

The New Year often comes with strong messages about fresh starts, decluttering and transformation. For someone with hoarding disorder, this can feel threatening rather than hopeful.

It’s important to:

• Avoid linking the New Year to clearing, sorting or change

• Allow progress to happen at a pace that feels safe

• Recognise that stability and emotional safety may be the priority right now

Real, lasting change happens through trust, not deadlines.

 

Looking After Yourself Too

Supporting someone with hoarding disorder can be emotionally demanding, especially during an already busy season. It’s okay to acknowledge your own feelings and limits.

You are allowed to:

• Seek guidance and support

• Take breaks when needed

• Ask for professional advice

• Set boundaries that protect your wellbeing

  
  

Compassion includes yourself as well as others.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

If you’re supporting someone with hoarding disorder or if you’re struggling yourself,  professional, compassionate help can make a difference. Sensitive support focuses on understanding the emotional drivers behind hoarding, not simply the physical environment.

The festive period can be complex and triggering, but it can also be a time to strengthen trust, connection and hope. Gently, at the right pace.

If you’d like to talk, learn more, or explore supportive next steps, please reach out to us. We’re here to listen.